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I wanted to love and learned to hate
This account of human and societal failure is a tour de force of psychological cruelty, failed attempts at living life and an unbelievable escalation.
Fritz Mertens brutally murdered two people. As part of the process of determining his penalty, he is told to write down his life story. The resulting account is a document of collective failure: of a childhood characterised by illness and abuse, by the search for understanding and consistent disappointment. This is a book about the sensitive terrain of children’s minds, which we must navigate with the greatest of caution.
»This book was only written because my psychiatrist asked me to write down the story of my life. He had to write an expert opinion on my behalf, because I have killed two people.«
Fritz Mertens
»We ourselves cannot take the credit if, throughout our lifetime, we do not commit a crime, if we do not become guilty of killing someone.«
»The language conveys emotions so acutely that it is almost staggering.«
»This devastating true story shows what can happen when parents and guardians do not take their responsibilities seriously.«
»A report as literature, literature as a report. A documentation of the other side of life, which we should all read, because none of us are safe from ourselves.«